Ep 66: Energizing Self-Talk: Overcoming Resistance for Purposeful Action

EPISODE 66

Harnessing Mindful Self-Talk for Growth and Success

 
 
 

Are you ready to shatter the glass ceiling of your comfort zone? Brace yourself as we take you on a riveting journey toward growth and success in our new episode. We explore the power of mindful self-talk and its incredible ability to shape our motivation. Be prepared to dissect that persistent voice that tells you 'I don't want to do this' and discover how to transform it into an energizing 'I want to do this.' 

Ever wondered how setting boundaries can be an antidote to burnout? We tackle this in our enlightening conversation about overcoming resistance and finding motivation. As we wander through this fascinating territory, we share insightful strategies and real-life examples that will empower you to take purposeful action. We close with a special segment on how self-talk can be a game-changing tool in coaching. Don't let resistance hold you back, tune in, and let's conquer it together. 

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TRANSCRIPT:

00:02

Welcome to the Purpose and Profit Club podcast for nonprofit leaders, mission-driven creatives and social entrepreneurs. Get ready to stop dreaming and start doing. Here ideas become action. We prioritize purpose and profit. You ready, let's go.

00:20

Have you ever found yourself saying I don't want to or I don't want to have to call that donor, I don't want to have to send that email, I don't want to have to start this new campaign. I don't want to have to ask you fill in the blank. I don't want to have to figure this out. I know this is me. I don't want to have to figure out this tech. I don't want to have to learn this. I don't want to have to do this over. I don't want to have to. I don't want to blank. Take a pause for a minute and think about something that you've said to yourself internally, maybe even out loud, or maybe even to a coworker that sounds like that. I don't want to have to blank. I don't want to have to learn this tech again. I don't want to have to record this video again. I don't want to have to figure out another way to get people to take action. I don't want to have to. It's sort of this breathless piece. It's on the heels of feeling frustrated or it's on the heels of feeling like a real reaction, a reaction to something that has happened recently.

01:31

This is what one of my clients said to me recently. I just didn't want to have to fundraise. I was like, oh, that's good to know. What I said to this client was you were always going to have to. You were always going to have to, even if your flavor is. I don't want to have to figure out tick, tock. I don't want to figure out. I don't want to be live on Instagram. I don't want to have to call all those ambassadors. I don't want to have to. You were always going to have to. Is what I told her. Do you have to do all of the things I just mentioned? No, what I mean is let's parse out and let's unpack what was underneath that For this particular client. What she said was I just didn't want to have to fundraise. What was the dot dot dot at the end of that was? At least not right now. I just didn't want to have to do that right now. I didn't want to have to go there right now. What I said to her was one you're always going to have to. We're in the arena, you're in the pool, we're going to swim. You can hang on to the ledge or you can let go of the ledge and learn how to swim. I don't want you to take pool noodle and float with you and hang on to the ledge. You're always going to have to release in order for this goal to be met, in order for this next level of your mission to be realized and achieved. That's the first thing I said. The other thing I said to her was catch yourself on that.

03:04

When you say I don't want to blink, you're lying to yourself. Why are you lying to yourself? Because you actually do. You do want the outcome. That's on the other side of it.

03:13

For example, for me, I love to tell myself internally in the Monday morning I don't want to go to the gym, because I even say it out loud I don't want to go to the gym. I don't want to go to the gym. The truth is, I actually do want to go to the gym. I want to go to the gym If I'm there, if I'm lifting weights, if I'm doing the thing, or if I'm on the ride home, or if I take my habit tracker and I've got my Sharpie that I fill in every time I go right. I want all of those outcomes. I want it. I actually do want to go to the gym.

03:47

The hurdle is just that first piece. To catch myself in the lie is really, really helpful. I don't want to go to the gym. Actually, I do want to go to the gym. I also just want to be cozy. I also don't feel super energized today. I also don't think that I have time. That's kind of one of my good internal excuses that comes up. The first piece is just to catch yourself in the. I don't want to and how that shows up for you. I don't want to create all these social posts. I don't want to schedule them.

04:18

I don't want to pitch all these ambassadors, right, whatever it looks like, but really don't you actually want to? For me, I think of all my students and amplify social impact. Maybe they don't have an. I don't want to. I don't want to have to figure out who these ambassadors are. I don't want to pitch them or I don't want to hear another. No, that would be a good one, right? I would say to that question it no-transcript. Maybe I actually do want to hear another no, because if I hear another no, I'm One step closer to a yes. Or if I hear another no, then now I know how to refine my pitch to make it clearer. If I hear another no, that no may actually just be somebody who is completely unclear on the ask, right?

05:03

This happened to another one of my students recently, different student who is in this process. Okay, they're using the social street team method. And what they said to me was hey, I got this response from a perspective ambassador, and the ambassador was somebody who is already involved in the organization. So the way that I teach it is we kind of want to go out to some of the warm people in your world and bring them into Become your social street team, your digital ambassadors, right? And this particular person took their pitch and said you know, we already have committed to X amount of dollars In donations each year to your organization, like that's it. And I was like, oh, they missed it. Like they missed it, they took your email as a fundraising pitch. Right, they missed the entire social street team per Process, right? So that was a clarity piece. Did they say, no, yeah, is that really important information for you to refine your pitch? Not only with everybody, what with them in particular. Yeah, so watch yourself.

06:05

When you tell yourself I don't want to right now, you may tell yourself I don't want to and decide like you don't want to. I'm thinking of a friend of mine. We were we're joking because she loves pesto this weekend. We were talking about all the things that she puts on pesto and at some point it just the conversation just evolved involved, evolved to. I was like you just put like a little tablespoon of pesto in your coffee in the morning, don't you? And we're just laughing, right, course on. So she doesn't want to put pesto in our coffee in the morning? No, of course, not right. So like there are some times where you're like I actually don't want to have garlic in the morning, thank you very much. Right, I actually don't want to dance on tic-tac, thank you very much. Like there is that. But when there is a genuine, measurable, profitable outcome Attached to something that that inner voice is saying you don't want to do, I really want you to watch it right.

06:58

I really want you to don't criticize it, don't beat it up for thinking that way. Like I said, we're in month 11 now of my year of strong and I regularly have. I don't want to go to the gym. The truth is, I totally want to go to the gym. I feel better when I go, I'm glad when I'm there, like you All, like all in all, all upside, and yet that's just like a loop that I'm used to saying right for me it would be tax time. I love to the loop of I don't feel like doing this, I don't want to do my taxes and in fact I've recorded an episode about this previously, shared this with you previously. But, like, tax time is usually a pretty easy lift because of my bookkeeping throughout the year. But I have this sort of like I don't want to that just comes along with me in that internal dialogue. Oh wait, no, I do want to. I do want to file my taxes. I do want to, like, see what my expenses were. I do want to see all of those things. Like I do want to. I do want to get this off my list.

07:54

I do so just just first going through the awareness piece of like what is that inner dialogue? Number one. The second piece is who am I telling that inner dialogue to? Because I find the like most insidious ones are the ones were actually saying out loud sometimes Because we're almost looking for buy in from somebody else. Like, yeah, that sucks, right, no one wants to do taxes Once to get up in the early and, you know, go to the gym or whatever the thing is right. Oh yeah, calling major donors is so hard, all that's the worst, right? We're looking for that come rotary of somebody to agree with you, right, so that then you can give yourself permission to not do the thing. Watch yourself, watch yourself on the pieces where you're really like looking for buy in from the group of like, yeah, that that we could all agree that sucks, it doesn't suck. You know why it doesn't suck? Because if you make one phone call today, it can get you past your revenue goal. One phone call, one major gift, one, yes, that's why it doesn't suck. That's why it's worth doing.

08:54

If you pitch 10 digital ambassadors today and five of them say, yes, that's 100 K easy in a fundraiser, follow the process I teach and amplify social back period. That's the key. That's the process. How do we get you to start? Stop creating content on social media? We're talking about yourself and no one's hearing you in this. 10% of your audience is seeing you again and again. Instead get the endorsements and social proof of a street team like that is a value. That is value that compounds. You do want to make these ask, you do want to make that phone call. You do want to send that email. You do want to exercise that boundary.

09:31

It's another thing I've been thinking about is Boundaries, which is kind of a buzzword. Right, oh, you need to set a boundary or boundaries. That boundaries are uncomfortable to set. By the way, right, boundaries are often Telling somebody I'm not going to, not going to do this, I'm not going to do that. It can be very uncomfortable and Instead of setting the boundary, we keep taking the action, we keep saying yes, we keep Doing a going over and beyond, over working, we keep kind of edging on people pleasing or burnout or whatever, right, instead of sending setting the boundary because the boundary part feels uncomfortable, right, but then what are we doing?

10:14

Irritated on all the extra work we're doing. We're irritated that we feel like, you know, this person doesn't appreciate us or whatever, whatever the pieces that comes up for you, right? So watch yourself in those moments where you tell yourself, oh, I can't, or it's too hard, or it is hard. It is hard to set a boundary and it's worth doing right, or I should probably go, I should probably go to this thing, I should probably go to this event, I should probably go to this mixer. I don't want to disappoint them, or actually don't want to go to this mixer. I don't want to go to this event. And my truest self wants to Get a massage, wants to have a quiet night in, wants to catch up on a book, wants to do any of those things. I find when I actually step back to do those things, I come back to my work more energized, more focused, I work faster, I work more efficient in that piece, right? So really, really be careful in that self-talk.

11:16

Now I have a crazy example for you but I think it will help which is as a cat lady, I have scooped many a litter box in my day, okay, many a litter box, and I have scooped a litter box and said internally, in that inner dialogue, and externally, out loud God, I don't want to clean the litter box, right? I want to clean the litter box. Gross, it smells, I don't want to clean it, I don't clean it, I don't want to scoop it, I don't want to take it out. Whatever the thing is right. The truth is, all of those times I did want to clean the litter box. Why? Because I don't want my house to smell like shit. I don't want my room to stink. I don't want my cat to go to the bathroom in a full litter box. Right, those are all benefits to taking the action. It is like ugh, I don't feel like doing it right. So watch yourself, because why does this matter? You don't have to scoop the litter box with a smile on your face, but at least to say I'm doing this for me, I'm doing this for our family, so the house smells good. I'm doing this for the cat that I live. They have a clean bathroom. Right, watch yourself, because I find you get through the process of doing the thing that you think you hate doing much, much faster when you watch that inner monologue and you kind of just neutralize it. I don't think you have to go to full joy on it, just neutralize it. You get through it faster.

12:38

The rumination, the looping of. I don't want to. I don't want to right On the mornings where I'm like, of course, I'm going to the gym. Today, I just get out the door and I go to the gym. I bet it takes me start to finish 15 minutes to go to the gym. From the moment I put my clothes on and to the door walking into the gym, that's 15 minutes. On the days where I'm a little bit on that loop and I'm not catching myself, I'm not being more disciplined with myself, I'm not acknowledging you actually do want to go, christina. That could be an hour. That could be an hour of dilly-dallying, an hour of rumination, an hour of like well do I. An hour of internal negotiation. At the end of that hour I am frustrated, I am depleted, I'm mad at myself. Right?

13:25

How does this show up both in your personal life? How does this show up in your work life? Because I know both of ours have aspects of your role at work, of your business, inside your organization. There's things you love to do. There may be those pieces that you're like that's my jam. I'm in my zone when I get to do those. And there's the pieces that aren't so fun to do. They're tedious, they're grueling, maybe they're intimidating.

13:50

I said to on a coaching call with my Amplify social clients recently we're talking about this idea of surveying and to really get to know some of her supportive bases, because she really didn't have an idea. She was newer to the organization and I went through this whole piece with her and we agreed kind of her next steps and I said, okay, so are you going to make some calls this week? And she said I'm not going to, but someone on my team can. And I was like, oh, you, let me believe you were nodding along the whole time. You let me believe that you were going to do it. I got it, you're going to do it.

14:21

Right, there are aspects to your role that you're like I don't love that or I feel nervous, or I feel intimidated, or I feel like I'm imposter syndrome, right, but that piece of that internal piece of number one how you talk to yourself, number two, how long you let that go on for informs how you show up during the actual action, okay, so that was a little bit of a deeper one for you today, but I want you to think about it.

14:49

I want you to think about the things that you're like schlepping about on that simply could be a decision to be like no, I'm actually doing this and I'm doing this with intention, I'm doing this with purpose, I'm doing this because I want to, and how that would change the experience of it afterwards and during. I'll see you next time, if you ask me. Everyone should have a coach, especially you. I want to invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me. Go to splendidatlcom forward, slash contact. You'll see my calendar there. Book a call with me. You'll learn about my smart growth method, where we can grow your business or organization sustainably, with ease and massive impact.

You Get To Have Purpose And Profit. I’ll Show You How.

 
 
PodcastChristina Edwardspurpose and profit, marketing, entrepreneurship, purpose driven, nonprofit, social impact, mindset, productivityComment